I wanna write this one as a kind of thank you to a few people. Well a lot of people really.
I watched a CSI episode once and Katherine said something that stuck with me. There was a death in a family that was being treated as suspicious. It ended up being a death of natural causes but the family had been put under the microscope and all the "bad" things, the family secrets, had been exposed. The woman at the end of it said to Katherine I bet you think we're an awful family and Katherine's response was that all families look awful when they're put under the microscope. It's true. All the little things that are brushed under the carpet and forgotten about (or at least attempted to be forgotten about) are what makes a family, a family. Sometimes these little things can glue the family together, other times they can be the reason the family breaks apart.
This is the same for individuals. All the little things that make up someone's personality, all their little mannerisms and traits, if put under the microscope can make you love a person or, not love, not like and sometimes hate, that person.
So my thank you is to all those people who know my awful things and still love me and support me.
There's something going on at the moment that's putting my head and my heart in overdrive and Saturday it got a bit much (as with everything with me!) and the one thing I thought was "oh it doesn't matter anyway because as long as I have Gina, nothing else matters!" I whole heartedly believe that! And I'm lucky enough to know that no matter what (literally no matter what) I have got Gina by my side, through everything! I know Ginas love for me is unconditional and mine for her is too. I am so privileged to have a relationship like that with my sister. I've said it before but she is my soulmate. About 6 months ago I went to the funeral of my great aunt, my Nan's sister. All I could think about was the fact that my nan was having to watch her sister go behind those curtains. And then I saw my grandad put his arm around her and I was gone!! Then all I could think about was I hope it's Gina who has to have her husband put his arm round her and see me go behind those curtains because I could not cope if it was the other way round!! We've always said we'll go together when we're old and grey but if that's not the case and it's Gina to go first, I'll follow shortly after due to a broken heart! My brother doesn't even come into this because I can't even let the thought of him, ya know, enter my mind cos I break down! Probably because of my dad!
So anyway off subject a little bit. ANY decision I have to make and anything I have to face, anything at all, whether I'm doing the bitch slapping or I'm being bitch slapped, whatever decision I end up making, whether she agrees with it or not, Gina is there for me. Along with a lot of other people as well! I can't list them all but certain special mention needs to be made to Nicki, Leanne, my auntie Karen, my mum, Dan and Jamie and anyone else I've forgotten to mention.
Thank you for making me who I am today and for the fact that I know you guys love and support me no matter what! Even when I'm a twat! I LOVE YOU!xxxxxxxxxxx
